Starved for something more....

"This Christmas season is gonna be different! I'm not gonna feel overwhelmed and jaded by this world! I want to enjoy the wonder of Christmas and share it openly with my family and others!"

hmmm...have I been tested or WHAT this year. One evening last week, I felt this crazy rage to scream at my kids about everything and be cold to my loved ones...just because I felt like LOSING IT! It appeared to be that "way in over my head" feeling that accompanies any holiday for me. I took a step back and yearned to shake off the mundane and crack open my cold heart so God cold fill it with HIS wonder and joy. I just couldn't do it. Instead, I tried to control my actions and emotions on my own. I think I did a pretty good job, too if I say so myself! Until, I realized that I was only going through the motions and NOT feeling anything at all for anyone! Seriously...I have that tremendous talent for "checking out". I can actually be in a room and NOT be in the room. Does anyone out there feel me?

I needed to grasp the wonder of God's love in a bad way! My own love is found wanting and failing. I do not love as God loves. I fall short of His expectations and desires for my heart. Basically, my heart is just plain slammed shut, air tight! You know, that big slam that rattled the whole house after you've come in from outside and your mom yells "shut the door! were you born in a barn?!" I sometimes get to the point where, even if I feel love there, I don't always take the time to express it, I don't follow through with actions that fully embody true love, forgiveness, long suffering (picking up those dirty soccer cleats from in front of the garage door for the 1000th time gets REALLY old. I actually fell flat out on my hard wood kitchen floor with arms full of Christmas presents.) Was I embarrassed? Nope... I was MAD!!!!!!

SACRIFICE...

The words of Ps 9:1 "I will praise You O Lord with my whole heart, I will tell of Your wonders..." was NOT really at the forefront of my mind at that moment! Until later that night when I was exhausted and kneeling by my bed. He reminded me...in a gentle, kind way that hit my hard heart like a ton of bricks! this verse is a public declaration of God's goodness and wonders! Am I declaring how wonderful my God is. Am I screaming of His love? Ps 34:8 says that He is a good, trustworthy,matchless lover "compassionate and gracious...abounding in love and faithfulness." (86:15) I so desperately need to be reminded of God's love for me, I'm pretty sure we all do!

This Christmas...come with me to that place where we open up our hearts, shake off the lethargy and coldness. May we each soften our hearts to fully experience God's love for us. I'm thinkin' that His love will SHINE through us to those around us, not just our acquaintances at church, school or the "hood". But to those who love us the most and put up with us every day...our precious families! I'M JUST PLAIN STARVED FOR SOMETHING MORE THIS CHRISTMAS! how 'bout you?

Have you ever been there? Trying to serve God and obey Him before you truly LOVE Him? How do you do that? Man! It's exhausting. Without love for God and His Word, even our best efforts to love Him completely can be left falling flat!

"...love the Lord Your God with all your heart soul and mind and strength and your neighbor as yourself..."

There are many men of the Bible who tried to obey God without truly LOVING Him first and foremost and completely. I remember a study of Beth More's that we did several years back. She talked a great deal about Saul and his determination to do good on his own. If you recall...He failed miserably. Even David, whom God called a man after His own heart, failed when he put his own desires and passions ahead of God's heart. We cannot comprehend what their lives were like back then, trying to follow the letter of the law. Praise God, we have GRACE and mercy on our side now.

I must say that I am a great deal like these men. I am passionate about my family, music and often times...God my creator comes in last place. How do I do that? May I suggest that I am again thinking of how I am going to do it, instead of focusing on what GOD is going to do. Am I spending adequate time reading my Bible these crazy holidays? Am I offending the very heart of God by NOT putting Him first and foremost in my actions and desires? Are you?


hmmm

Christmas caroling to the elderly! December 18th...don't forget! 5:30pm

"...when blossoms flower amid the snow upon a winter's night. Was born a child the Christmas rose the King of love and light." Gesu Bambino

the mall this time of year...if you can get past the people...is VERY cool!

Tori's first band concert...both exciting and painful. The 6th grade band has come a long way from the beginning of the school year! Tori's doing great with the trumpet. The painful aspect? Not learning the art of TUNING yet. whew!

This is my big brother Dougie! (he's number 3 in the line up of 7) We had a great Thanksgiving with the Strader's. They are so generous and loving to our family. Not sure what we would do without them! and....whew!!! Can my sister- in-law Lisa cook!!!!

So I was reading from the old testament doing my Bible study...like a good girl and began my prayer time almost as a ritual. Many words of praise to my God and then began the long list of requests. Things like: "help my kids to love You, please help me to accomplish alot today, give me patience with my every day chores, help me to lose weight, 5 more pounds would be nice, God..." You know how it is...or maybe your stuff is different?

I pray the same kinds of things just about every day. Am I fooling myself to believe that God will be moved through redundancy? hmmm... maybe I should pray it just one more time. Prayer isn't so much about informing God of my needs , nor is it really about trying to convince my Maker to give me a helping hand. I was struck this morning that prayer is about experiencing God and moving forward with Him to a deeper connection. I have read this word connection also interchanged with "communion". If one pitfall in regards to prayer is to be completely "prayer less" (is that even a word?) another danger is to remain completely empty of contact with God. Sometimes my focus is on how much I pray rather than what happens when I pray.

I love Big Band music. I'm really not good with Jazz. Ask any one, I think sometimes it is done well...sometimes it is void of continuity and flow. But Big Band...I love it! My favorite tune is "I'll be Seeing You". It was sung in the movies like: "Shining Through" (my all time fav...so old it's not even in the video stores any more), Pearl Harbor and the list goes on. I think I love this, because it is often sung out of desperation when the man she loves is leaving to go off to war. I want to see and experience and see God "in all the old familiar places..." He wants that intimate friendship with me as well. All this to say, I don't want my relationship with God to be just a repetitive babbling conversation. I want to hang on His every word and connect with Him on a deeper level with each new day. How 'bout you? Maybe we should slow down and try to think about what we are saying to God. Just some random thoughts of mine while on some serious cold medicine. I hate this head cold sore throat gig. I guess that's just part of living in MI.

At this point: The Band will be playing on Dec 07, 08 and Dec 14 for Walk Through Bethlehem. Bring your friends and enjoy an awesome night of music and Christmas spirit!

congrats to OCS for making it to State Finals! You played hard and deserved to WIN! There is always next year.

Good to see old friends and share old memories!

thanks for taking time to have dinner with us
Mike & Patti.

come back again...soon.

Awesome job Kids Choir!!!!! you guys rocked.

Attention!!

kids choir practice rescheduled to Novemeber 03
Saturday morning: 9am til 10:30

Practice will be in the sanctuary.

Update: Cam's team made it all the way to STATE and lost 2 to 1. They played a tough team about a foot taller than them. So...basically they lost it in the air and won it on the ground. Cam played a great game and 5 of our players won allstate titles with Cameron being one of them. Many kudos to you Cameron! You worked very hard to get here!!! See my office door for some cool newspaper pictures of Cam and his team.

OcsCongratulations go to: OCS Varsity Soccer Team for winning Districts and the first game of Regionals!!

Final regional game played on Saturday at OCS, 2:00pm.
Come and cheer them on to victory!

Way to take one for the team! Center Mid Fielder Cameron Johns gets taken off the field for a bloody nose. Holding his head back and changing his jersey at the same time, he hussels back onto the field.

Woohoo! They win against University of Liggett (Liggett was awarded a "wopping" 4 yellow cards in the game)

Remember to remember!
No choir or kids choir on Oct 31st


ps...
Bring mj LOTS of candy next week!

Fall in Michigan is GORGEOUS!!!!

FW 11-11-07

Love lifted me
I stand amazed in the presence
I belong to the king
no choir

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather laugh than cry when life sneaks up on me and cracks me right between the eyes.

...more to come!

She's growing up soooo fast! Next year...off to College. YIKES!!

awww...

Which tie should I wear???

Cam before OCS homecoming. He met his "interesting" date in Rochester...trust me, it's a long, but humorous story!

what a stud.

Cam went to Clarkston's Homecoming with Whitney the week after OCS had their homecoming. Great times!!!

First day of school for Tori!

My Family... In Muskegon , MI, this August

Steve, MJ, Kaili, Cameron, Victoria, Logan

My sister Jeannie and her family (5 yrs older)

My brother Stephen and his family.

(2 yrs older than me)

the grand kids and baby Audry...my great grand neice (Matthew's daughter)

the gift of MUSIC...

Our family reunion.

6 out of the 7 Strader kids were all together. What an awesome time of praise and worship we had together as the grandkids led the grown ups!

My oldest sister Gail. She's number one, I'm number 7!

Influence is the best way to lead and move others toward what is good. We are not only intellectual but emotional creatures. (whew! I got that one covered! ) All of us have the capacity to manipulate. Manipulation is the use of influence to control others for personal gain. While manipulation is inherently evil, influence is the best way to lead and move others toward is good. As kids, we were totally influenced by our peers that were prettier, sharper, smarter or richer or more popular. What makes a person popular anyway? hmm...I'm thinking that we would rather be pulled and controlled by the force of power and consequence. It never really changes, even as adults.

The proper use of influence is huge if we are going to capture moments from God and share them with others through our life style. A life touched by God always ends in touching others. (McManus) I think what he means is there is a difference between private faith and personal faith. His intention is never an individualistic faith. Am I influencing others in a positive way? Am I influencing others toward good? Am I too casual with my speech? my actions? my faith?

Our future pilot!

She is invinsible...

now let's just get through math in middle school.

Congrats to Logan and Clarkston Impact for winning all three games in the Peach Fest this past weekend and the Peach Berry pie wasn't too bad either!

this weekend for the Johns':

Tori plays in Petoskey Soccer Tournament
transportation? back of Dad's Harley

Cameron plays in Armada Soccer Tournament on Saturday
transportation? Mom's cool mini van!

Logan: away game on Saturday night

Kaili: finish those college apps!

Am I ready for the unexpected????
The answer is...I keep learning and relearning! Am I ready for the unexpected on Sunday mornings? I'm sure, if you're anything like me, I come in with a plan. But sometimes...things don't go according to plan! I have a sore throat, the sound tech is late, equipment shorts out, rehearsal runs long or like most recently, "sharing time" runs about 30 minutes longer than planned. We had a new person on the team and had practiced long and hard that day, coming in 30 minutes earlier than usual.

Rather than being surprised by the unexpected...I have come to plan on it!

A random thought...

We all need to hold our well-laid plans some what loosely as we head into Sundays. For those of us who are control- freaks, this is really hard! But my God sees the whole big picture better than I ever could. He asks me to listen to his whispers at each point along the way and trust Him to direct our paths.

Sooo...all this to say, it is truly our job on Sundays to expect the unexpected and BE READY!

such precious friends with some crazy memories of tubing, child birth, kids, games, weekends away and FOOD!

White Fish point vacation. Lake Superior in the background. Steve paid Logan 5$ to take a swim!

such great summer memories with bestest buddies!

encouragement from Jesus: from Matt 10:26-31

1. Don't be afraid! (v. 26)Am I afraid of the changes going on in my life right now? Am I afraid I won't be able to afford coollege for Kaili? Am I afraid of failing? Am I afraid of not being a good leader and mom? God will reveal to me what He wants me to do next in those times of crisis!
2. Stay close to Jesus! (v. 27) Being a leader doesn't mean I get to do whatever I want with my family, ministry, life...it means I do whatever God wants with His family, ministry and my life. (that He created after all)
3. I am precious to Jesus! (v. 29-31) God knows me intimately, down to the very hair on my head. He knows when I am weary, what I'm feeling (goodness knows...I have alot of them), the tension I feel in my family and ministry here at church. God delights in us and is pleased with what we do for Him.

We don't go unnoticed or unappeciated!

Our darkest emotions...
There is a whole book in the Bible called Lamentations. I'm thinkin' that God can handle my darkest feelings. He can deal with the fact that we are sad. We all think that Christians are supposed to be happy all the time and there is no room for "down" time. Being "down" doesn't fit the perfect picture of what Christians should be. So, I suppress my feelings, thinking that God and my neighbors can't handle it when we're down. When in fact, my new neighbor just revealed to me that she liked that she could identify with me because I was "real". My tendency is to alleviate pain and suffering out of my life at all cost and to create a quick fix. Yet, Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn" (Matt. 5:4). I have learned that I need to embrace pain and suffering instead of trying to avoid it. Life is a struggle. (Ps 88:13-18)
Do I take the time to embrace those who are struggling? Do I make room for those who are faint hearted? Or do I expect every one to have it together...maybe like I appear to be? Jesus wants us to be "real" and not fake. I can smell some one who is fake with my "fak-ar"... can't you? I'm thinkin' that God wants us to bring Him our darkest emotions and feelings. It's ok to be there every once in a while. This week I was struck by the words of Matt Redman's tune: "Blessed Be your Name"...where I can shout "Blessed Be Your Name" even when I'm walking through the wilderness. You can, too!!

Next week...I'm off to Spring Hill to sponsor the OCS High School Junior class girls at camp. Should prove to be interesting. I'm actually looking forward to a change of scenery and a little bit of spiritual rejuvenating. I actually dig that younger type music and activity stuff. Surprise you? It shouldn't!!!

thanks you to al;l the volunteers for spending your Saturday serving! You went above and beyond to help set up for the community jam concert. tahnks for you precious attitude of service and joyful disposition! it was a huge success because of you! thank you!

cookies brought to church by 1:00 pm for community jam concert

ps 103:1
"Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me, bless His holy name."

apply it! take some time to carefully consider honestly and prayerfully where your soul / heart is in relationship to Jesus.

Find someone with whom you can be completely honest and open with, support you, pray for you, and hold you accountable

what is a hero?
Arthur Ashe, born 07.10.43 broke the racial barrier in the sport of tennis. He was ranked #1 player in the world in 1975 and then became a spokes person for AIDS awareness after contracting the disease through a blood transfusion. "True heroism is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost."

As I read this, I was struck! Some times I serve my family, my team mates here at WCC and think: Man, did that even matter to them? Do they even care that I gave up my time? stayed up late? got on my hands and knees to serve them? do I even get any credit for thinking of others first?

Serving is not a natural thing for some people. In my case, I'm good with it! My parents both went through very tragic illnesses and needed care that was selfless and sacrificial. I'm good with that, too. Where the struggle comes is when I have served, served, given, and given some more...am I willing to continue to do so without any accolades? God's grace should be sufficient! Is it?? absolutely!

Prov 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with all you heart and do not lean on your own understanding."

Thanks, my loving and sovereign God, that my failures and mistakes are part of the "all things" You work together for good...as well as my tensions, stresses, my hostile and anxious feelings, my failures and regrets. Often I take these trips into feeling overwhelmed and self blame. Ever go there? It's pretty dark and lonely. When my heart is overwhelmed, I'm aware of my need to cry to God...to take refuge in Him...to rely on Him...not MYSELF.

May God prompt my very soul to rejoice and depend! God has the ability to overrule my anxious thoughts. He is sufficient...with His presence...

I want to shout to God and yell it from my chair that I'm sitting here writing to you from, that we can thank God for the shortcomings and failures that bring pressure on us. They can open us more fully to our Savior's unchanging love and total cleansing!

my prayer today: I praise You my God for how you use my sins and failures to humble me, and for how this opens me to the inflow or Your grace- amazing grace, that enables me to hold my head high, not in pride, but in humble gratitude for Your undeserved, unchanging love and total cleansing!!!

woo hoo! God is awesome when you let Him in and actually listen to His gentle, urging voice!

coming to our baseball dyamond soon...

Community Benefit Concert
Put on by local bands from Clarkston Community Church, WCC, Men Of Grace and the group "Escape"

More details to come. Be sure to mark July 21st on your calendars!

Thanks Choir for and awesome year! You are very dedicated and wonderful people. Thanks for being you!

So in my quiet time today, I was reading about the balance of ambition versus being humble. (Mark 10: 35-37) Last night I was having a conversation with Kaili about college and future plans and the ability to succeed. she was so full of life and ambition to excel! it was intoxicating and I found myself longing to be and do better. After reading these thoughts from scripture, I was left with wondering whether or not I have the balance of ambition and yet humble. In mark 10:31 Jesus reiterated the importance of humility. He told the "many who are first will be ;last and the last will be first." Again, there is nothing wrong with ambition. In fact who wouldn't want to sit next to Jesus in the Kingdom of Heaven. The disciple's error came when they desired to OBTAIN the positon more than they desired to be WORTHY of such a place. Jesus made it clear over and overa again that the kingdom positions are reserved for the most humble of Christians. So, I came to the conclusions that it is not wrong to have ambitious plans for yourself. It is not inherently wrong to aspire to have influence or desire to have success. But it is wrong to have selfish motives and it is especially wrong not to be humble. Ambition without humility is egotism! Christ Himself was the true example of humility. Thankfully, there is hope. If you read further into the writings of John, he eventually learned to be humble. He never painted himself out to be a hero, but he uses every oportunity to give Jesus the honor. I would love to learn that balance between ambiton and humility. Some days are better than others...
Lord help me to be humble yet passionate, mellow yet bold, calm yet courageous! Kaili, I pray the same for you baby!

...in case you're wondering why I don't have any pics posted yet of my big kids, I am waiting for Steve to put the latest on a disc so I can load to my computer. Sorry Mazie and Cam!!

Awesome job "hammer"! You are an amazing defenseman and a real leader! great job this past weekend! Congrats on making it to the finals. It was a great game!

Tori beans: wow! way to play tough. You had some amazing saves in goal and you were the only one who scored all weekend. great job in the Novi tourni!

Congrats Logan's team on making it to finals in the Midland tournament!
You guys are awesome!
wins: 3
losses: 1

Congrats to my girls!

Kaili: congratulations on being inducted into NHS this past week. Keep up the good grades. Pre Cal and Chemistry are almost over for the year. woo hoo!

Beanies: Congrats on being the Optimist award winner for '07. We are so proud of the beautiful young lady you are. Go get 'em this weekend on the field. Kick some serious soccer behind! DQ for a "hat trick"!!! You, too Logie and Cam. Nothin' by ya!

NW news:
this week:
everyone is BACK!!! woo hoo!

Happy Mother's Day!
To all of you girls who have a mom living here on earth...I'm envious. It is with both sadness and joy that I look back at my childhood and see the mighty hand of God working through my precious mom. She was always tough as nails, yet could be heard singing throughout the house. I miss that clear gorgeous tone and smooth vibrato. I remember the way she smelled, the touch of her working hands, the look in her eye when she was proud, and the laugh she belted out at the movie screen when no one was looking. I remember her soft wavy hair and the way she taught Cameron and Kaili to say delicious when they ate a juicy piece of fruit. (they splattered juicy all over) the roses, the fresh baked cookies, the open Bible, the smell of Pine Sol, the notes in my lunches, the dollar sent in a card when i was away at college...the list goes on. I remember her always being "home".

hmmm...I wonder if my kids will think of these goofy things when I'm gone? What do think of when you think "mom"?

I think: unconditional acceptance and never settling for less that what God made me to be.
I think: love!

Happy Mom's day girls! Make it a good one. Who knows? maybe the kids will play outside and you can actually take a little nap or go for a peaceful bike ride?

My screen saver says: "Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about dacing in the rain!" Every time I read it, I think...am I dancing? yeah baby. Life is good.

"Imagine the power of our lives if we could know with confidence that when others see us, they would also see God; that God would reveal Himself through an ordinary human being; that those who today are blind to God would have their eyes opened by the life each of us lives." McManus

Reread this today and I was left thinking:
Do I allow people to see God revealed in me? Am I open and vulnerable to God's holiness and amazingly perfect character? Do my friends see something / someone different? hmmm...